I Wonder What I'm Doing

I realized something this morning. I notice that the thoughts that run through my mind are often reminders or memories of items on my "to do" list that I've not done, yet. Often, they are simple things that I have forgotten, like buying some enchalada sauce or checking the oil on my car. My reaction is to dismiss these thoughts are not useful in the present moment, so I let them go. They tend to come back in moments when I'm not fully focused on the present, though.

This morning, I wonder about these reminders that pop into my awareness time and again. What if I were to take a moment and write them down so I can attend to them? I would assume that the thought that I haven't checked the oil in my car recently would not come to mind if I had checked the oil recently. The same with reminders about items that I want to purchase at the store but have forgotten.

I also realize that I don't take time out of the day to consider what I want to do with my time. I act as if I value going along with whatever comes up on a given day and responding to it. I certainly was able to avoid conflict by living that way when I was growing up or working for money. I don't think this is how I want to live each moment. I like completing projects and having time to invent and create.

At the same time, when I am fully present, I have access to what I really want and follow my inspiration. Well, that is the rationalization for approaching each moment the way I have. I would like to consider how I behave in those moments when I'm not fully present or inspired. This is very interesting.