I Am And Therefore I Can

This morning, I notice how easily I slip into believing that I can't, the feeling that I am not connected with Being, Creativity, Health, Love and Wisdom. I have discussed this tendency I have to discount my capabilities many times but today I am acutely aware of this feeling arising in me in contrast to the feeling of connection and the conviction that I am and therefore I can. This week, I feel connected and powerful, creative and alive, so this tendency to discount myself really stands out in stark contrast to the way I am feeling and acting. It's like an itch that doesn't go away, working its way into my awareness until I scratch it. The more I become aware of the possibility that I can't, the more acceptable the idea is simply because it's so familiar and I believed it for so long.

My wife asked me to help her heal a painful foot, yesterday, and I slipped right into feeling inadequate for the task. As I mentioned, I feel great this week and feel connected and powerful, yet I felt powerless and ineffectual almost immediately when she asked. This is programming that I received as a child and that I nurtured in myself as the basis of my participation in the hierarchical game. This is how I managed to feel disconnected and inadequate so I could play the game of trying to improve myself and become someone other than myself. Through constant repetition, though, I made it habitual and unconscious so I could experience it automatically.

I quit playing the hierarchical game, or so I thought, but this behavior is difficult to stop. It is insidious because it is automatic and mostly unconscious. However, this morning I noticed it because I feel great but this tendency wanted to take me in another direction. I recognized what was happening within me and I balked. I don't want to go down that road again because I don't want to play the hierarchical game. Instead, I affirm my connection with life force and being, taking the opportunity to help my wife heal the painful condition in her foot. I can imagine her foot healthy and fully functioning, so it can be that way again. I am and therefore I can help her experience her foot as healthy again. In the same way, I am and therefore I can experience my connection to life, power, wisdom and love. Old habits may be difficult to break, but when they feel so inordinately different from the way I feel now, I can notice them and refuse them until they lose their appeal.

I am excited that I caught my programming in action and broke free of it so easily this morning. I am and therefore I can.