Soul Talk: A Transition Into The Present

It has been a while since I asked my Soul to speak.

So much energy, life and creativity bubble into your consciousness every day, that it's almost like having a birthday every day. A celebration of joy is a fair description of your experience each day, although you don't always feel that way as you live the day. And you find yourself in a most unusual community, where your wisdom and knowledge are greatly appreciated and even sometimes solicited. In this new reality, where you experience yourself as whole and live in a community where others appreciate you for who you are, you are adjusting to a new sense of yourself. Whereas you have memories of challenges experienced in relationships, creative endeavors, studies and friendships, you experience all of it differently, now. Even your studies and research over many years, which seemed to come across as esoteric or perhaps mad to many people that you've known, currently all that information and knowledge, as well as the wisdom you've gained over the years of Transition process with the Guys, is suddenly enlightening and useful in your current reality.

What a change this new reality is for you! No wonder you feel discombobulated at times. And yet, you feel the joy and appreciation bubbling in your heart every day as you marvel at the experience of being alive. Take life easy, though and choose a peaceful experience. It's tempting to ride the creative energy and engage in more and more activities since it's so much fun. Let love, ease and peace be your guides so you don't overextend yourself. Take time to enjoy what you do and rest in being in the present. It's not about producing or creating, it's really about experiencing yourself being in the present, enjoying your life.

An Answer To Job, Again

I am rereading Answer to Job, by Carl Jung, and this time, I'm also reading the Edinger Commentary on the book and discussing the readings with a reading group. I find this reading to be wonderfully evocative because it gives me an incredible sense of my own development since the last time I read Answer to Job, almost 40 years ago.

I want to write out a few ideas that have surfaced this morning, while I still have them in mind. The initial jotting down of these ideas will be somewhat sketchy so that I can get them out and remember them. Hopefully, I will return to this post and develop each of these ideas more.

Jung's sense that Job's questioning God and affirming his own innocence regarding all the calamities that occurred in his life brought new awareness to the lack of moral justice in God. It also makes it clear that God, as depicted by Yahweh, is not conscious and is jealous, in some ways, of man's consciousness. I feel that Jung is talking about a rational morality here, one that makes sense to the logical mind. I respond to Jung's description of the justice issue differently than I did when I first read this. At that time, I imagined that Jung was saying that the way that events in life happen to us is not always reasonable or moralistic, in a rational sense. I wasn't differentiating between the God-image and the Self at that time, so I still held onto the notion that there was purpose in all that happens, anyway, even if I couldn't see it. In fact, I still believe that my life experiences are orchestrated by the divine, the Soul, or the Self, even though it often goes contrary to my expectations and my wishes.

Edinger is concerned about when to apply an archetypal interpretation rather than a personal interpretation to someone's experiences in life, as though there are different types of analysis that apply to different situations. I don't see it that way. It seems to me a simple matter of noting that we only sometimes grasp the purpose and meaning in our lives' developments, and often only through hindsight. We may intuit what direction our lives are taking us, but we generally don't understand until we develop enough consciousness to see it from a larger perspective. It's like climbing a mountain and reaching an opening from where we get a view of the forest in which we were wandering. Our path is clear from above in a way that was not possible while stumbling around among the trees and underbrush. I say that the spiritual perspective is always applicable and sometimes the focus is on personal neurosis while at other times it's archetypal. When I became a father and the father archetype emerged so strongly in my psyche, I was also still neurotic in a very personal way. It seems clear to me that my life experiences were bringing both types of unconsciousness to the foreground to help me become conscious of all that I am.

I wonder about Jung's statement that God is the unconscious. I wonder whether Jung would say that about the God-image in himself, as he became more conscious. When Jung said, "I don't believe in God, I know God," I always thought he was talking about the Self rather than the Unconscious. I would imagine that he would equate the God-image with the Self for people who are sufficiently differentiated. Perhaps this is what Edinger meant to say in his blunt statement that I report in the next paragraph.

Edinger interprets Jung differently than I do. He says that very few people ever realize the reality of the psyche because it requires such a high level of consciousness. In fact, he claims that only after many years of analysis do a few people even get a glimpse of it. Psyche is the Latin word for Soul, so I know that he means to suggest that few people achieve wholeness and are able to live in conscious relationship with their Soul, but his statement reveals his own state of development toward consciousness. It's an important point, because it reveals that his interpretation of Jung is defined by his limited perception. It's useful to compare his "Jungian" interpretation to what Jung writes and keep in mind that his point of view represents the hierarchical Jungian context.

List of Magic and Miracles I

1. Two days ago, I discovered that my computer was not able to access the Internet even though my wife's computer was. I did some tests to determine whether the cable was malfunctioning, but the cable seemed to be fine. The problem seemed to be the computer's ability to access the Internet even though it was available. So I did a Matrix Energetics visualization with my computer, imagining the atoms reconfiguring in such a way that the Internet channel was open and accessible, then put the computer to sleep and went into town for a few hours. When I returned and awakened my computer, it easily accessed the Internet and the email program was able to send and receive emails.

2. I have accidentally touched hot stoves, pipes and ovens in a way that is usually associated with severe burns. However, when I do make contact with hot objects, I remind myself that my body knows perfectly well how to heal itself. I suggest that the healing mechanism respond fully and completely, and note that the heat has been removed so the healing can take place immediately. I relax the effected area and allow it to heal, acknowledging that complete healing will take place and that complete health and functionality are already returned. I then just relax and forget about it, knowing that my body knows exactly how to accomplish this. A few hours or days later, when I remember that I made contact with a hot surface, I notice that the area is perfectly healthy and whole with no signs of any injury. Once in a while, I may notice a blister on the effected spot, but I generally do not have any discomfort after letting the whole process go.

Soul Talk: Choosing Your Way

You tend to wait for guidance or inspiration to drive you through life, as though your vision comes from a source that is outside your consciousness. You have all the information you need to choose what you want and you are sufficiently creative to solve problems and refine your direction as you engage with your reality. So, you do not need to wait for God to tell you what to do. Essentially, you decided to incarnate into physical reality to see what you would do and what your experience is like. How do you like your experience of being incarnated in physical reality?

Your tendency to wait for instructions and guidance is based on your mastery of hierarchical perception, believing that you can't possibly know enough to choose for yourself. However, you can choose to play a transitional game and be the one who decides what you do. As you know, inspiration and guidance may give the appearance of coming from outside consciousness within a hierarchical perspective, but they can just as easily be seen as intuitive aspects of consciousness within a transitional perspective. In other words, even someone who channels an entity may be telepathically or creatively putting information together without the aid of a being in another dimension. It all depends how you understand consciousness and its interaction with other peoples' and beings consciousness.

Don't wait for the voice of God to speak or divine inspiration to awaken you in the night. Make conscious choices and decisions about what you want to do each day and each moment, taking all of your wisdom, dreams, experience, awareness, compassion, dreams and knowledge into account. And see what happens.

Dancing In The Light

I am starting a new phase of my life in Port Townsend, today. I have settled into my new home, so I am applying my creative talent to living my life and being happy. I realize that I was programmed with so many different attitudes toward work and play, health and happiness, that I carry conflicting ideas about all of them. I carry the same conflicting ideas about myself and my value.

The truth is that these ideas and attitudes are not mine but the conflicting values of society at large. For example, Catholic Religion claims to value love and good deeds above all else while simultaneously trying to maintain its powerful position in world politics, global affairs and the lives of its members. As long as I rely on some sort of creed or formula in the way I live my life, I am equally subject to the opposite attitude through some other institution or agency that promotes it. If I rely on others to determine the value of my life and who I am, I remain conflicted and confused as my beliefs and loyalties shift day to day.

I am present in this moment as spirit alive in a material world, exploring, learning, playing and expanding. I have learned so much about myself by observing myself in action throughout my life. I noticed this morning, while dancing for my aerobic exercise, that I completely enjoy the dance when I am fully present in the moment, being in my body, moving it around and exploring the possibilities. At other times, my mind wanders and I think about the day and all I hope to accomplish. When I slip into planning mode, or some other thinking state, I am not present in my movements and the dancing feels perfunctory and boring. I basically watch the clock waiting for the time to elapse so I can go onto other things. That is not the way I like to live.

I want to experience each moment today being fully present in the moment. I am present now, so I'd like to continue living consciously and enjoying what I do just like I enjoyed dancing when I was present doing it. I don't have to wait until the end of the day to enjoy myself. The truth is that I enjoy engaging with all these wonderful activities, having the opportunity to contribute creatively while fully engaged. The key is being conscious and awake at all times so I can presence myself and be present in what I'm doing. I don't want to slip into old patterns of behavior or go through the motions of doing the projects unconsciously while I think of something else. I want to be fully present in what I do. I want to be happy and fulfilled in all that I am and do.

Such A Tiny Baby To Be Sent To Save Us All

"But he seems like such a tiny baby to be sent to save us all"

This quote from a choral piece, Glory Hallelu! by Don Besig, has generated my deep reflections on what it means to be awake and present in my life. I was raised Catholic, so I was programmed with the whole Jesus myth that is the Catholic reality. I don't believe that Jesus Christ was a historical person but I do believe that the Christian story does tap into deep, mythological roots so it does communicate spiritual reality, although not in the way that the Catholic Church generally interprets it.

I think of the tiny baby in the Christmas story as the awareness I have when I am being present in the moment, awake and conscious to whatever is happening. Being awake seems like such a tiny shift in consciousness from thinking and planning, worrying and striving to reach my goals in life. Nonetheless, being is the opportunity to presence myself, my spirit, my soul, my intelligence, my creativity, my inspiration and my love in the world rather than trying to act or work in ways that are recommended, taught and promoted by societies, religions, philosophies and families throughout the ages. It's like trusting that I am taking all those considerations into account by being myself honestly, fully and happily.

As I said at the beginning of this entry, this awareness doesn't seem like much in contrast to all the problems and challenges confronting me in the world. Yet, I've concluded that this is the point of my life, presencing myself in reality and having the opportunity to experience whatever happens. That certainly doesn't seem like much and yet that is what it means to me to be spiritually alive. I'm curious to see what I make of all this, now.

Awakening Creativity

I feel a creative-intuitive surge within myself this morning. I feel ready to break free from the disappointments and struggles in my history as I consider myself complete with the move into my new home as well as finishing the CSS inspired website for my daughter. It was only a year or so ago that I let go of my website design business, thinking I didn't have time to keep up with the evolving design software and innovations in the field to create just a few websites each year. I thought I could spend my time more productively and happily making music. In our current financial situation, however, we are stretched to pay two mortgages, a bridge loan and a home equity loan with our income. Suddenly, having the opportunity to learn CSS and create designs for the Internet is exciting again.

My inner child is convinced that this latest shift won't work well for me, which of course is the way he feels about just about anything I do. He is afraid that I won't be able to juggle web design with creating music, but I feel like I can. I actually enjoy playing around with software and computer programs, tinkering with websites and engaging with technological innovation. I am excited by the vast potential for communication through the Internet and am delighted to have the opportunity to help recreate our business' online presence with all the new technology in mind.

At the same time, I am excited about music and want to create, compose, arrange and communicate the music that fills my heart. This promises to be really fun and fully engaging. In fact, I feel like I've just awakened from a long dream in which I struggled to express my creative self and was consumed by a day-to-day work reality that consumed all my energy. It's a wonder that I awakened at all.

I feel ready to play.